Showing posts with label #retweetm @mistress_dj. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #retweetm @mistress_dj. Show all posts

Corona / Covid how are you faring?

from people becoming ill to state lock downs...
from having to wear a mask to shortages on staples...
It's a struggle, many of ya'll have suffered from this...
For the month of September I will be offering 50% off goodies IF you mention you saw this on my blog (shoot me a note, and I will give you the discounted price) AND...the holiday line will be the COVID line at a discounted rate through September 30th!

There's some hoes in this house...there's some hoes in this house..



This song brings me joy. Cardi is unashamed of her stripper past...I am an unashamed sex worker as well.
I can't imagine life without Domming...
2020 has been a rough one ya'll keep pushing.

an ode to a Dom/Domme

Ok, ode might be a bit of a stretch.

To those that dare take control of one whom no one knows what to do with...

To those that dare set boundaries and standards for those that typically answer to no one...

To those that educate themselves, not just in BDSM, but on the submissive themself....

To those that give reprieve in power exchange, only if for a few moments....

What You do is important. What You do matters, if to no one else? to the one who is submitting to You.

What You give, when you deliver this control over the sub or switch is relief. Relief of making decisions, relief of responsibility, relief of being in charge and even often sexual relief. Just like in typical D/s typically the sub is a strong person who is looking for this relief. To Top a switch is no different.

I personally have Dommed typical subs as well as switches and subbed as well.

I am from the school of thought that good Doms/Dommes have experienced the other end of the whip as it were (whether literal or in the receiving end of mind-fuckery.) This is simply because then when it's their turn to top, they know exactly what it feels like to experience what it is they are about to deliver.

So, to those Domming - my peers, those looking into D/s  Being the Dom/Domme is so much more than whips and chains, so much more than sexual fulfillment or mental fuckery. You are bringing people peace of mind and the deepest of calm.

What we do matters. It isn't flippant, nor is it a game.

I challenge anyone reading this who Doms...to take them higher...






5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom






Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to help submissives understand their role, and isn't more than a faux pas. During interactions with your Dominant, it's a lesson to know that you can't control what is going on. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. Examples of this could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant's hand to do something they do not wish to do.

1. You contradict the decision of your dominant.

If you try to change his or her mind about the decision they have made, without a valid reason, you are topping from the bottom. Examples could range from trying to convince them to use a different toy because you don't like the one they are using, to asking them if they are sure they want to eat at Joe's Restaurant when you really want to eat at Donna's Cafe.

2. You ignore the request or command.

This one goes without saying, but pretending you didn't hear the request and just to carry on doing what you want to do is not appropriate. Acknowledge the request as soon as possible and follow out the command as best you can. You can always go back to what you were doing afterward. The dominant is expecting your service at all times, not just when you want to give it. Topping from the bottom can be non-verbal.

3. You ask "What is in it for me if I do x y z?"

Submission isn't about pleasing you directly. Being directed to do something from your Dominant is to please them, and as my Master always says, "Doing things for me should be your pleasure." Conditional submission is topping from the bottom and should not exist, you either submit or you don't. What you get in return is up to your Dominant. Negotiating this at the beginning of the relationship is critical.

4. You pull away from physical contact.

This is a tough one, but typically in a D/s relationship, you have given over control of your body to your Dominant. This means that if they wish to touch you, that is their right. Telling them with physical withdrawal that you do not wish to be touched is trying to force their decision to touch you. Removing yourself from the situation is topping from the bottom. Learn to accept the attention, no matter what it is; it could develop into a wonderfully intimate time between the two of you.

5. You say "no".*

As a submissive, you may hang on to the right to say no, but if the Dominant gives you a reasonable request and it is within your negotiated terms to do, then you shouldn't say no. Inconveniencing you isn't a valid excuse. Neither is I don't want to. Your Dominant has your better interests at heart, but also their desires. Perform the task and then feel good about it. What you just did may have enhanced your relationship, or you just refreshed their coffee. Either way, life is good.
* No is an important word in a D/s relationship, but one that shouldn't be abused. Just like safewords, this word is only to be used in non-negotiated situations or when something needs to be cleared up first. Remember: use sparingly.



Are you really a submissive / potential pet or slave or is it just masturbation fodder?

Are you really capable of putting My needs before every single one of your own?

To think about how a situation will affect Me before how it affects you? "Will this be pleasing to DJ?" – That is what true submission looks like.

You have to want to do anything and everything, under any circumstance, wherever, whenever it is asked or demanded of you, to please Me. I must always come first. Whatever I ask of you, you must do without question, (of course contractual agreements and limits would be respected) but...could you do that?

If, despite and in spite of all the above, you still feel that it’s for you? You must always approach and interact with respect. Manners are very important – they show intelligence and sincerity as well. Stating your truth and what you're really seeking is key, answer questions from Me honestly --so we can better build our D/s bond Be yourself. Above all, be HONEST. If you lie, you’ll defeat the object of this endeavor.

Many guys twist the BDSM world for masturbation fodder, and I suppose that's ok -- but, you need to realize that fantasizing about serving Me (to get off essentially) and really putting in the work of a pet are two different things.

...an escape -- it's easy to venture, come with me!

I get asked many questions by many people.

Some--they just want to know what a Domme is, why I have chosen to do what I do. Some go deeper and figure I must have some sort of hatred of men to do what I do...quite the opposite!

I adore men!

Well, then I must be a bitter shrew that has been dumped on repeatedly (that's why I like to torture men!)

Ok, first...I don't like to torture men, I like to provide an escape?

A what?

An escape...not the Ford kind either.

Most of my callers, both in person and on Niteflirt have several things in common.

- they are bright, well spoken, well read men.

- most have traditional and decent manners.

- most have decision making or higher-pressure jobs --some entrepreneurs.

- most need to give up control -- if for just a while...

I liken it to going to a professional masseuse to work out the kinks in your back.

Gentlemen come to me to work out the kinks in their minds.

Just like a counselor -- they can confide in me with the promise of confidentiality and if their kink is ever mentioned, it's vague and with no reference to them personally.

I keep secrets. I keep the kind of secrets they cannot utter to anyone BUT me.

*******************************************************************




Clothespins and BDSM

Clothespins can be a wonderful addition to BDSM play and are relatively easy to learn how to use. Many new comers to BDSM start with things like clothespins. Clothespins are usually used to give the sensation of pain to certain body parts. They can create many sensations and even increase the intensity of orgasm. With some caution and imagination clothespins can be used in any number of deviously enjoyable ways.

Most frequently, clothespins are used on the tits, especially on nipples. Clothespins can be placed on the nipples in many positions. You can start from clothespins pointing straight onto the nipple, not from the side, gripping the base of the nipple, not the tip. This does not have the same sort of ‘bite’ as grasping the nipple alone may, and often does wonderful things for sensitivity without causing pain. Pointing straight out is an especially deviant way to clothespin your partner.
You can clamp the nipple only, or work gradually out from the areola as your partner’s ability to enjoy more increases. The soft flesh under the nipple is a great place to experiment. You can also clothespin on sideways, with the nipple centered in the the hole in the clamping area. If you do this far enough back on the nipple base or areola, the tip of a large nipple will remain exposed for other things, such as ice, nibbling, or smaller clips and clamps.

The nipple is the classical place to begin practice of clothespin play.. But many areas of the body might do well with a bit of clamping either for sensation or visual appeal. There are other parts to decorate your body with clothespins such as inner thighs, the webbing between toes and fingers, scrotum, along the shaft of a penis, labias, clitoris, behind the knees and inside the elbows, and even the tonge. Generally, the clothespins can be used on any part of the body where you can ‘pinch’ up a fold of skin for the clothespins to grab.

A chain that runs through a pair or set of clothespins will add to the enjoyment. As your partner moves, the chain will cause the part of the body the clothespin is attached to move as well, creating a wonderful sensation of weight and pain. You can create a row, circle on the belly or back, a belt of clothespins round the waist, a circle round the thighs as a reminder to keep them spread, etc.

Don’t allow any clamping device to remain in place longer than 20 minutes maximum! The clothespins create the erotic sensations by cutting off the blood circulation. The whole idea of clamping is creating condensed erotic pain when the blood flow starts recirculating back into the unclamped tissues. When left in place too long, or placed where they can crush or damage tissue and internal structures, such as the delicate blood vessels of the penile shaft or the hood of the clitoris, watch out! Never clamp any piece of flesh near to dense blood vessels, to avoid damaging nerves, or internal structures, such as the corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum of the penis, and tissues of the clitoral hood in women. Any damage to these structures can be permanent and cause lifelong pain and suffering.
Stay safe and sane by removing the clothespins until you are more familiar with how your partner’s body responds to them.


Pulling off a clothespin is more painful than squeezing the legs to remove it gently. Taking the closthepins off causes a stronger rush of pain than putting them on. That’s because the blood is rushing back to that area of the body. If your partner is anxious, instruct him or her to take a deep breath and gently squeeze the legs of the wooden closthespin until it comes off.

Image result for clothespin

Edging to a new level...

Edging refers to getting to the EDGE of cumming, a stroke or several away, and then staying there for a while. It goes by many names:
EDGING = staying on the EDGE of cuming (very different from "edge play" which also plays with breath to enhance arousal, but which literally rides the edge of asphyxiation to achieve this; not something I want to do or have done to me!)
PEAKING = staying at the peak of arousal;
BRINKING = staying on the BRINK of cumming;
TEETERING = teetering on the edge of cumming w/o falling (thanks in Melbourne);
PLATEAUING = cruising on the Western Prairie of BLISS;
VERGING = surfing on the edge of the Wave of BLISS;
ENDORPHING = ever so gently stroking your Erotic Handle to increase the flow of ENDORPHINS in your brain;
PROLONGED AROUSAL = staying AROUSED for a very long time;
MASTURBATION = doing ALL the above )
The key is
Be Mindful.
Pay attention to what you feel - Savor your feelings in ALL parts of your body. Don't focus only on your cock, but be aware of tingles in your feet, your back, your mind, and especially your perineum and prostate. Help your mind be aware of these by touching yourself in these places.

Most guys find that porn flicks or friction fiction is useful, if at all, only at the start of a session. After you get GOOD VIBRATIONS going all the way from your cockhead to your prostate, focus on these, savor them cultivate them. If you have other ideas, or porn thoughts, or even work ideas come into your head, just let them float across the screen of your consciousness, the surface of your meditative mind, and stay centered on your breathing, your body.

Consume the deliciousness of the tingles in your perineum, in your cock, as you pull your balls, twist your nipples. If something heightens your pleasure, just let it happen and focus on the deliciousness, letting thought of how it happened pass.

So try this...and let me know how it works!!

It's so nice to be appreciated...

So as ya'll know I was out with the flu (and this shit is no joke this year!!!) and while away many of you were generous -- sending some just because love my way -- some sent gifts from amazon -- some sent some really funny stuff!!!

this one from boofriend cracked me up!!



You better work bitch.



Bring it on, ring the alarm
Don't stop now, just be the champion
Work it hard, like it's your profession
Watch out now, cause here it comes
Here comes the smasher, here comes the master
Here comes the big beat, big beat disaster
No time to quit now, just time to get it now
Pick up what I'm putting down
Pick up what I'm putting down
You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini? Sippin' martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion?
Party in France?
You better work bitch,



This is a reminder for myself -- or for whoever needs the motivation:

Dick pics? Size Matters?? Oh My!!!

First off, I get called a "Size Queen" as I've voiced my preference for larger endowments. It's said to me as if it's supposed to be an insult...wait, not let me get this straight...it's ok for guys to oogle and desire big-tittay girls...BUT let a woman voice her preference for an "Above Average" penis...and all hell breaks loose. So let me begin my penis manifesto: Do you guys have a handbook or something? I suppose due to the line of work for some reason you consider it acceptable to send me a "dick pick" in various stages of arousal or flaccidity...yeah...ew...most of the times it shows remnants that you've been masturbating too. Double ew. now let us discuss "average" versus what you fellows seem to consider magnificent: While results vary slightly across reputable studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis, when erect, is in the range 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length with a 95% confidence interval of (10.7 cm, 19.1 cm) or, equivalently (4.23 in, 7.53 in) — that is, it is 95% certain that the true mean is at least 10.7 cm but not more than 19.1 cm