"The Washcloth incident" try not to judge people (true story, starring Yours Truly)

A brief preface:

Not long after your favorite Dominatrix was born...my mother was in a horse-back riding incident. Her back was broken/vertebrae had to be fused. She was able to walk in time, but needless to say lifting, handling and even playing with (on the ground etc) a baby was...challenging. So, Yours Truly had a Nanny. (No, not some ninny college kid but a true blue Nanny from Sussex!) She said she spoke in poor Cockney, but you couldn't tell me the sun didn't rise for Nana...she smelled of menthol cigarettes and tea. She was quite rough around the edges but she taught me an awful lot. A real member of the family...(this matters, you'll see the connect shortly)

So, Nana was responsible for all of the heavy lifting of raising me from newborn essentially to about 6. Bathing, feeding, playing, handling...you get the picture.

Fast forward: I am 18 years old, I moved out right after I turned 18...I am in my own apartment and attending Jr. College (don't get excited, this isn't a Domme tale...one year to that...) but my dear friend (since age 11 or so-ish) comes over,  she is Mormon, not that it's here nor there. Her family raised her conservatively of course, but I was raised in the strict German ways. Needless to say, we could always relate. I digress, my friend comes over to stay the night with me. We are having a grand time in my new apartment, got a pizza was going to watch some nonsense on the television - a girls night! 
A great time is had, then it's time for bed. She wants to shower before bed so I direct her to my towel cupboard - nice new clean white towels (you can bleach towels!!) She comes out and asks me where the washcloths are? I am confused, "Washcloths?" I explain to her I didn't bother to get any as I don't use them (and I really didn't outside of to wash my face and take off makeup.)

The next day her mother was coming to pick us up to take us to their church (long standing tradition) and sometime during all that she explained to her mom that I didn't grasp the point of a washcloth. Her mom comes over (I found some 7up to offer her) and explains to me the full proper usage of a washcloth, in a motherly, non-demeaning way. (True story!) As it turns out: Nana thought my mom talked to me and taught me "how to wash" and my mom thought Nana "taught me how to wash"

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't smelly or gross, I'd take a bath daily, soak and use my hands to suds EVERYWHERE (you know what I mean!) but now I know the mystery of these damnfangled little squares...

Fast forward nearly 20 years and I'm talking to a buddy on the phone...turns out his parter didn't use washcloths either --

I think the reason I am sharing this is: even with the best of grooming and intentions -- things fall through the cracks (pun intended). Things get overlooked or simply not taught. You never know why someone does things so differently from you. Culture? Religion? Never taught? All possibilities...

So, when someone does something different from you, pause for a moment--have some empathy and remember DJ.

Descending the stairs

Descending the stairs, the dim light from the sconces only provides highlight to Her form.
Fearing to speak freely, you utter, "Mistress?" seeking Her out.
Perched on Her throne in the corner She observes you, like a cat stalking a bird on the grass.
Taking a sip from Her coffee, She slurps causing your strained gaze to shift Her direction.

Descending the stairs, you can now make out the steam rising from Her mug on the table.
Examining the crimson cinder block walls--the word dungeon clangs in your head like a bell.
Watching, still perched, your Domme awaits your submission.
Impatiently, Her boot heel scuffs the floor, causing you to jump a bit.

Descending the stairs, your new life is ahead--one of submission.
Trembling with anticipation you strip, kneeling as directed.
Standing gracefully, your Goddess slowly approaches, Her heels clicking on the concrete floor.
You look up once and meet Her grey gaze then immediately cast your eyes downward.

Now your new life begins....

Are you really a submissive / potential pet or slave or is it just masturbation fodder?

Are you really capable of putting My needs before every single one of your own?

To think about how a situation will affect Me before how it affects you? "Will this be pleasing to DJ?" – That is what true submission looks like.

You have to want to do anything and everything, under any circumstance, wherever, whenever it is asked or demanded of you, to please Me. I must always come first. Whatever I ask of you, you must do without question, (of course contractual agreements and limits would be respected) but...could you do that?

If, despite and in spite of all the above, you still feel that it’s for you? You must always approach and interact with respect. Manners are very important – they show intelligence and sincerity as well. Stating your truth and what you're really seeking is key, answer questions from Me honestly --so we can better build our D/s bond Be yourself. Above all, be HONEST. If you lie, you’ll defeat the object of this endeavor.

Many guys twist the BDSM world for masturbation fodder, and I suppose that's ok -- but, you need to realize that fantasizing about serving Me (to get off essentially) and really putting in the work of a pet are two different things.

Erotic Hypnosis - Dr. Sue Show

Dr. Sue said we could share the podcast, and this may well be of interest to some of you.

She can be found at: @DoctorSue (twitter) or inbedwithdrsue.com (or on Niteflirt: https://www.niteflirt.com/Dr%20Sue%20Sex%20Therapist#)

Self Care - for everyone, not just subs.

Here is one thing I know for sure: people are on edge.

I don't mean the usual crunch time, make ends meet kind of stress edge -- but instead like one whack comment from snapping edge.

Is it the political climate?


But, rather than analyze the "why" of it let's make this a positive.

1. Make a point of taking time away from your screens. For every hour, I challenge you to spend 10-15 minutes outside or sitting quietly with your eyes closed (meditation/prayer/relaxing.)

2. Hydrate: I know I for one drink way too much coffee. Coffee is a natural diuretic, so those of us that enjoy our coffee or tea, should double up on our water. You should drink half your weight in ounces.

3. Organize: loosely plan tomorrow. What am I wearing? What is the "loose" to-do's for tomorrow? What will be for dinner tomorrow?

4. Plan ahead: things may not go as planned. Make your bed when you get up. Start the dishwasher or laundry. Do things ahead of time ahead when you have some spare moments.

5. Make one day a week to do exactly what you want to do - not need to do, or should do -- if that means being a couch potato, so be it! If that means staying in bed all day? Good for you! If you want to watch a movie-a-thon or read....go for it. Do what will recharge you and refresh your spirit.

Also, I encourage you to take deep breaths.

We are a society of breath holders, and it isn't good for us.