Showing posts with label CFNM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CFNM. Show all posts

Corona / Covid how are you faring?

from people becoming ill to state lock downs...
from having to wear a mask to shortages on staples...
It's a struggle, many of ya'll have suffered from this...
For the month of September I will be offering 50% off goodies IF you mention you saw this on my blog (shoot me a note, and I will give you the discounted price) AND...the holiday line will be the COVID line at a discounted rate through September 30th!

There's some hoes in this house...there's some hoes in this house..

This song brings me joy. Cardi is unashamed of her stripper past...I am an unashamed sex worker as well.
I can't imagine life without Domming...
2020 has been a rough one ya'll keep pushing.

a poem from a slave

Divine Goddess DJ

i kneel and tremble when the dagger of Your voice fucks my ear drum.

Your unique beauty and joie de vivre

i would give anything to worship the ground You step on in Your boots.

By Your grace and in the serve to You my life has meaning,

i breathe, submit, and endeavor to be Your peace; for Your true divine light to worry not.

The sound of Your voice is enough, it sustains me through the darkest of hours.

Whether recorded or on the phone, You give me purpose.

Words drip from Your luscious lips like honey the best of treat for this worker bee.

In submission to You i am whole.

I appreciate this - thank you d.

I am grateful for this amazing life I live. experience with a Phone Mistress (by yours truly!)

Sexual Encounter-
It all began so simple - an ad for a phonesex company.
An image, a promotional blurb a resume of filth and of kink. A desire that was contained in her grey eyes - was that a wall of restraint or torturous gates keeping him out?
Then she sent him a text/sext--she commanded 'I want to talk to you'.. 'I want you to stroke for me'.. 'Isn't it time you gave up control?'..
His heart pounding so strongly was it fear or lust?
Imagining all of dark fantasies that had lingered for many years before....
Pictures imagined and expectations created...
He dialed the phone...igniting ignition for his rocket ship.
She answered with "Hello, who is this?"
She has everything prepared, like an exquisite execution of a blueprint. She needed no introduction...
he gave her a name...a name to be called with trembling and trepidation in his voice...
'Why are you shaking pet? ', 'Are you afraid? '
he cannot answer...between his raging erection and her low calm tone he's slipping under into subspace.
'I feel so funny...' he says, unable to formulate what he's feeling.
'That's normal, that's subspace...just savor it." the Mistress reassures.
She uses him as her play thing as long as she wishes...all night long. He wonders if it's sexually exciting for her too, but he dare not ask.
He is her slave for the moment. She can have him any way she could imagine.
He could spend hours between her legs; at her feet; at her whims.
'Get on your knees, pet and wait.'
She speaks of edging, of control and of chastity.
She explains as a pet nothing is his.
His cock, his time and his wallet are all hers to do with as she will.

It feels as if months had gone by in his mind until the next time he can speak to The One..
She asks him if he wants to stay, to live in her world forever? She gives him assignments to soothe his sub-frenzy... But before he can think to answer;  She has vanished...she now dwells deep in the recesses of his mind as well as his loins...

To be continued....

the importance of aftercare.

All scenes, no matter what their focus is, should include some kind of aftercare component. In its most basic form, aftercare can be thought of as the willingness to support your partner after a play session to ensure return to an everyday state of mental and emotional equilibrium (Dexter, 2012). This time is used to provide comfort and support to both players. It signals to both parties that they are valued and appreciated (A Submissive's Journey, 2013) and is one of the distinctions between engaging in BDSM and abuse (Peyton, 2013).

BDSM scenes, no matter where they range from pain causing elements to mental power exchanges, can change a person's headspace and include a certain high caused by endorphins flooding the blood stream (Fox, 2012). These endorphins are joined by other neurotransmitters such as dopamine. As endorphins inhibit the pain receptors, the brain floods with dopamine which activates the reward center and fills you with euphoria. When the dopamine levels subside in the brain, a neurochemical called prolactin is released. Research has shown that prolactin is a stress hormone that keeps the dopamine levels in your brain in check; this neurochemical has been linked to feelings of depression and alienation (SirReal, 2007). It is easily understandable why coming from this high can cause some players to feel emotional and in need of some type of support, physical or otherwise (BedroomBondage, 2013). Engaging in aftercare can strongly increase the intimacy between two players and while often geared towards the bottom, it benefits the top as well (Peyton , 2013).

Regrettably when people first get into kink, and sometimes even with experienced players, aftercare is not something that is discussed or done. You may also be without a reliable play partner or perhaps playing with someone at a public event and this aspect is overlooked. Aftercare may also be overlooked if playing with an online partner (Abode, 2013). In case of emergencies, it is good to have your own aftercare kit (lunaKM, 2009).

If you need to do your own aftercare be sure to take care of your immediate physical concerns and treat any injuries. You may wish to clean up a bit, use the bathroom, change into more comfortable clothes. Once this is taken care of, be sure to have a bite to eat and some water. Foods chosen should help give you a boost and rebalance your hormones; good choices could include: chocolate, fruit juice, energy bars, fresh or dried fruit, nuts, herbal tea or hot chocolate (Abode, 2013).

After this initial phase, ensure that you have a safe way home, presuming you are not home already. If you are unsure if you are driving after half an hour, check your pupils in the mirror to see if they are highly dilated. If you are still feeling out of it, consider calling a friend or a taxi to get home. When you get home ensure to stay hydrated and stay warm. You can try some yoga or stretching. If you are feeling social, meet up with some friends (Abode, 2013).

It can be helpful to take a good dose of vitamins after play to help promote healing and reduce any lingering negative emotions (Abode, 2013). This can be a helpful alternative to having someone to cuddle with, it will not be the same but it can help.

Why Have an Aftercare Kit?

Aftercare is an important part of seeing to the physical, mental, and emotional health of you and your play partner. When you are packing up your kink toys, it is easy to have an aftercare kit ready to go. This is a great idea because it ensures you will have what you are likely to need no matter where you are. It also shows your partner that you are thinking ahead and ensuring safe play.

What Should Be In Your Aftercare Kit?

You should tailor this pack to the type of play you are engaging in or your play partner as different items may be needed. There are some items that you may wish to consistently keep in your kit as they will always be applicable such as a blanket or first aid kit. Some suggestions of things that you might wish to consider placing in your pack:

Small snack - It is common for people to get hungry after the release of endorphins. Someone's blood sugar may drop during play as well so it is always a good idea to have something for you or your partner to munch on afterward. It can also help return someone to a everyday world state of mind by grounding them.

Water/sports drink bottle - You or your partner may get dehydrated during the play session. Staying hydrated is an important part of being safe during a play scene.

Ice/Heat pack - Ice packs can be used to cool down and reduce bruising by applying them to the impact area. You may also want a heat pack for any potential injuries

First Aid supplies - Always a good idea to have a first aid kit on hand

Blanket/bathrobe - It can be common for people to feel cold after the endorphins of the play session ebb.

Change of warm, comfortable clothes - After an intense play session, you or your partner may wish to relax in something warm and comfortable. It can also be more comfortable to cuddle.

Warm socks - To ensure you or your partner remains warm enough

Sterilization/wet wipes - Depending on type of play you do, these can be great for quick clean up.

Incense/scented candles - A calming and soothing scent can add to creating a relaxing aftercare environment

Journal - You or your partner may wish to record feelings or thoughts of what went well or things that can be improved.

Stuffed animal - If you or your partner wants one for comfort

Vitamin E/K cream or Arnica gel - These creams can be used to reduce existing bruises after impact play

Tube of heparinoid - Found in first aid sections and has several brand names. Used to increase blood flow and reduce bruising and inflammation from occurring

Customize Your Kit

What you choose to include in your aftercare kit should be dependent on the type of play that you and your partner typically engage in as well as the aftercare needs of your partner. There is more than one way to carry out aftercare and you should discuss what will make you and your partner the most comfortable.

You better work bitch.

Bring it on, ring the alarm
Don't stop now, just be the champion
Work it hard, like it's your profession
Watch out now, cause here it comes
Here comes the smasher, here comes the master
Here comes the big beat, big beat disaster
No time to quit now, just time to get it now
Pick up what I'm putting down
Pick up what I'm putting down
You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini? Sippin' martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion?
Party in France?
You better work bitch,

This is a reminder for myself -- or for whoever needs the motivation:


Objectophilia is a fetished form of sexuality focused on inanimate objects. Usually the object of lust is a specific item or a couple -- not just random items. People that have this sexualized object preference may have feelings of lust, attraction, love, and even seemingly have a relationship to or with certain items or structures relative to their focus. One must wonder if there is a slippery slope with sex toys, blow up dolls and fetishes for items like shoes, panties etc.

I personally want to call it "Nounophillia"

so whatcha whatcha whatcha want?

Here is another one from the search terms list: “how to please your Dominant”.

Let us back up just a little bit. What happens in a Dominant/submissive relationship? One thing that happens, or should happen, is that the Dominant learns about the submissive. The Dominant should always be learning as much as possible about her submissive. Learn about him as a person, as a submissive, as a sexual being, as a spiritual being. Learn about him who he is, what he likes, how he thinks how he feels, everything about him that a Dominant can know. Reciprocally, the submissive should be learning all she can about his Dominant.
The submissive should learn the Dominant’s likes and dislikes. The submissive should ask when he does not know what those might be in a situation. He should study the Dominant to see when she is pleased and when she is displeased. I recommend submissives keep journals to help them keep track of what things please their Dominants. But that is not all.
Once you learn a thing pleases your Dominant, practice it. Get better at it. This will please your Dominant not just because you do it better, but because your taking time to become better at it for her will be pleasing.

how to share your fantasies

ometimes sharing your fantasies is as easy as, “hey, I’m into XYZ. Want to do it with me?” But not all of us have that level of comfort with our desires. Here’s how to feel more at ease divulging your fantasies.

Get Comfortable with Those Fantasies First

It’s really hard to ask someone to do something with you in bed if you don’t feel fully comfortable with what you’re asking for. Just like the old, “you have to love yourself first before you can let someone else love you” adage, you have to honor your fantasies if you want someone to else to treat them with respect!

Part of having a healthy adult sex life is taking the time to explore our desires and learn what turns us on, without judgment. Think through your fantasies on your own (perhaps while you’re masturbating), and try to get a sense of what lights your fire. It might be helpful for you to differentiate between your fantasies and your desires. Fantasies are the things you think about that turn you on. Desires are the things you actually want to happen. You might fantasize about having sex in public, but not actually ever want to do it. Sometimes making that differentiation can make it easier to acknowledge what turns us on.

From there, try simply saying out loud what you’re interested in. It’s not like you need to nail down every exact detail, but try something simple like “I like being dominated” or “I want to have a threesome.” Repeat until you start to feel more comfortable with the words. Give yourself permission to have your fantasies and desires. All of us have been taught to be ashamed of our sexualities in one way or another, so this can be a challenging step for some people. Just try saying to yourself, “I give myself permission to be turned on by this.”

These steps may sound a little silly at first, but they make a huge difference in your relationship with your sexuality, and in your ability to advocate for your own desires. The way you relate to your fantasies will define how your partner will respond to them. If you turn beet red and stammer your way through asking for anal, your partner is going to feel your discomfort, and they’ll be less likely to go along with your request. But if you’re able to ask confidently and clearly, your partner will instantly feel more at ease.

Don’t Overanalyze Your Fantasies

The very word “fantasy” makes a lot of people nervous, so they wind up making their fantasies seem like a bigger deal than they really are. A fantasy is just something that turns you on in your mind. Sure, you can have a detailed dungeon torture fantasy, but you can also have a fantasy as simple as “I want to have sex with the lights on.” You can also be unsure about your fantasies. For example, you may be curious about having an orgy, but not sure if you’d actually like it in reality.

You also don’t need to try to make sense of why you have a particular fantasy or what it “says about you” that some particular thing turns you on. Remember, fantasies don’t always overlap with desires. But even if you do want to try out a fantasy in real life, there’s still no need to judge it. Rape fantasies are a classic example: being raped is one of the top five fantasies for women, but having a rape fantasy doesn’t mean you actually want to be raped in real life. It also doesn’t make you a crazy person or a bad feminist.

Sure, sometimes there are clear reasons why we have specific fantasies. You might be able to identify that you’re into the dynamic of letting go of control since you have so much control over every other aspect of your life. Sometimes we have a fantasy specifically because it’s so different from how we would allow ourselves to act in the real world. But not every fantasy has a clear explanation, and the bottom line is that it really doesn’t matter. If something turns you on, if it’s happening between consenting adults, and if no one’s being hurt (against their will), it’s fine.

Figure Out When to Ask

Everyone has different relationships with their fantasies. For some people, they’re the cherry on top of the sundae but not the main event. If that’s the case for you, it may be better to wait a while before bringing your fantasies up with a new partner. Give yourselves the opportunity to get comfortable and familiar with each other before you start sharing more personal details about your interests.

For other people, fantasies are more front and center. Some people can’t be sexually satisfied unless they have a very particular kind of sex. If incompatibility with your fantasies is a deal-breaker for you, you may find it best to share your fantasies sooner rather than later. Let your partner know, “this is what I’m looking for. I don’t want to waste either of our time if you’re not interested in that.” You may even want to use a service like Adult Friend Finder or Fetlife to put all your cards on the table.

If you’re really afraid of your partner’s reaction, try easing your way into it. If you’re into sensation play, ask your partner of they’d be into using a massage oil candle before you whip out the Wartenburg wheel. You can also try using leading questions to gauge their potential reactions. For example, “I read about this thing on the internet today. Have you ever thought about doing something like that?” Or try watching porn or reading erotica that has some aspect of your fantasy in it, and see how your partner reacts.

It’s also worth mentioning that you don’t have to share every aspect of your private fantasy world with your partner, even if you’re in a serious relationship. You may have fantasies that you’re not actually interested in indulging. We all have the right to a little privacy when it comes to our fantasies! Like, say, when you fantasize about other people. No matter how much you love your partner, you’re going to fantasize about other people on occasion. This isn’t cheating, and there’s no need to “confess”! It’s up to you to decide how much of your fantasy world to share, but a simple guideline is to only divulge the things you actually want to try.

Tell Your Partner Why You Want to Do It With Them

For a lot of people, hearing a partner’s fantasy can bring up insecurity. It’s easy to go to a place of not feeling like you’re “enough” for your partner.

One simple way to get around this is to share the specific reasons why you want to act out your fantasy with them. Maybe you’ve never met someone you trusted as much as your current partner. Maybe they’re the only person who has helped you feel safe enough to explore your fantasies. Maybe they look exactly like a character you used to fantasize about as a horny teenager. Maybe you can’t get the thought of her beautiful breasts wrapped up with bondage tape out of your mind, or his strong arms pinning you down. Whatever it is, share with your partner why they are a crucial part of your fantasy instead of just playing a role that any other person could play.

Try These Lines

Still feeling stumped? Here are some easy prompts to get you started:

“You know what sounds really hot to me?” “There’s this thing I’ve always wanted to try, but I’ve been waiting until I found the right person.”
“I would love to see you doing...”
“What did you fantasize about when you were a teenager?”
“Have you ever thought about doing...”
“I saw this movie that had a scene where the actors were doing... Would you ever do something like that?”
“How do you feel about...”
“I’m not sure I’d actually like this, but I’ve always been a little curious about trying...”

Even if the thought of sharing your fantasy has got you stressed, remember that your partner’s reaction to your disclosure says a lot about whether they’re worthy of your time and affection. Do they treat your fantasy with respect? Do they listen to you without judgment? Are they willing to at least consider your request? Sharing your fantasies is a great way to gauge your long-term compatibility with someone.