Showing posts with label BDSM academy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BDSM academy. Show all posts

5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom






Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to help submissives understand their role, and isn't more than a faux pas. During interactions with your Dominant, it's a lesson to know that you can't control what is going on. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. Examples of this could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant's hand to do something they do not wish to do.

1. You contradict the decision of your dominant.

If you try to change his or her mind about the decision they have made, without a valid reason, you are topping from the bottom. Examples could range from trying to convince them to use a different toy because you don't like the one they are using, to asking them if they are sure they want to eat at Joe's Restaurant when you really want to eat at Donna's Cafe.

2. You ignore the request or command.

This one goes without saying, but pretending you didn't hear the request and just to carry on doing what you want to do is not appropriate. Acknowledge the request as soon as possible and follow out the command as best you can. You can always go back to what you were doing afterward. The dominant is expecting your service at all times, not just when you want to give it. Topping from the bottom can be non-verbal.

3. You ask "What is in it for me if I do x y z?"

Submission isn't about pleasing you directly. Being directed to do something from your Dominant is to please them, and as my Master always says, "Doing things for me should be your pleasure." Conditional submission is topping from the bottom and should not exist, you either submit or you don't. What you get in return is up to your Dominant. Negotiating this at the beginning of the relationship is critical.

4. You pull away from physical contact.

This is a tough one, but typically in a D/s relationship, you have given over control of your body to your Dominant. This means that if they wish to touch you, that is their right. Telling them with physical withdrawal that you do not wish to be touched is trying to force their decision to touch you. Removing yourself from the situation is topping from the bottom. Learn to accept the attention, no matter what it is; it could develop into a wonderfully intimate time between the two of you.

5. You say "no".*

As a submissive, you may hang on to the right to say no, but if the Dominant gives you a reasonable request and it is within your negotiated terms to do, then you shouldn't say no. Inconveniencing you isn't a valid excuse. Neither is I don't want to. Your Dominant has your better interests at heart, but also their desires. Perform the task and then feel good about it. What you just did may have enhanced your relationship, or you just refreshed their coffee. Either way, life is good.
* No is an important word in a D/s relationship, but one that shouldn't be abused. Just like safewords, this word is only to be used in non-negotiated situations or when something needs to be cleared up first. Remember: use sparingly.



a poem from a slave

Divine Goddess DJ

i kneel and tremble when the dagger of Your voice fucks my ear drum.

Your unique beauty and joie de vivre

i would give anything to worship the ground You step on in Your boots.

By Your grace and in the serve to You my life has meaning,

i breathe, submit, and endeavor to be Your peace; for Your true divine light to worry not.

The sound of Your voice is enough, it sustains me through the darkest of hours.

Whether recorded or on the phone, You give me purpose.

Words drip from Your luscious lips like honey the best of treat for this worker bee.

In submission to You i am whole.



I appreciate this - thank you d.

I am grateful for this amazing life I live.

...give us dirty laundry...

Why is it that scandals sell?

Why is it that drama and bad news is what we want to hear??

If  it's violence...if it's sexual....if it's "bad news"....

hell, even if it's "made up" or as #45 would say "fake news" we eat that shit up...

I mean National Enquirer and tabloids make piles fabricating all kinds of things...

I say, look for the good news of the day.


You better work bitch.



Bring it on, ring the alarm
Don't stop now, just be the champion
Work it hard, like it's your profession
Watch out now, cause here it comes
Here comes the smasher, here comes the master
Here comes the big beat, big beat disaster
No time to quit now, just time to get it now
Pick up what I'm putting down
Pick up what I'm putting down
You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini? Sippin' martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion?
Party in France?
You better work bitch,



This is a reminder for myself -- or for whoever needs the motivation:

Objectophilia

Objectophilia is a fetished form of sexuality focused on inanimate objects. Usually the object of lust is a specific item or a couple -- not just random items. People that have this sexualized object preference may have feelings of lust, attraction, love, and even seemingly have a relationship to or with certain items or structures relative to their focus. One must wonder if there is a slippery slope with sex toys, blow up dolls and fetishes for items like shoes, panties etc.

I personally want to call it "Nounophillia"

spring thoughts

So ready for spring.
Bout to take a vacay.
Wish I could find some good red lipstick.
I've got Taylor Swift's "Red" stuck in my head




"I'm hoooome."

whatever happened to Miley anyhow...bit of a shame.

I mean I get it...she's finding her...but there's something to be said for this:


I mean the girl can sing.

Anyhow back to my randomness...

Other thoughts:
I'm tired of everyone being "down" I think we should start a positive movement!
I'm tired of everyone feeling "sick" I think we should start a health movement!


If you read this:I challenge you TODAY go outside, get some fresh air, hopefully sunshine and drink at least 50 ounces of water!

let me know you read this and/or did it and I'll send you a reward!

spring has sprung...

A day in the life of a Domme...

11:38 am: Woke up nice and early *grin*

11:40 Padded up the hall to the kitchen to find that dave the houseboy (my corn-fed-subbie-house boy that is around from time to time) had put on some java --wtg!

Begin taking calls on Niteflirt. Some go great, some are new callers. All are fun!

Had a new person decide to give up control -- signed a contract, working on putting him on a stricter, Mistress Approved Schedule!

Took a break about 7pm for dinner.

Last call of the night, a foot fetish call...hmmm now if someone was here to rub my feet!

It's good to be the Domme.

Click for the web's best phone sex on Niteflirt.com