50 shades of *gagging noise*

Glad I'm not the only that thinks this way...


1) "Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free."

2) "Desire pools dark and deadly in my groin."
3) "He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez."

4) “I line up the white ball and with a swift clean stroke, hit the center ball of the triangle square on with such force that a striped ball spins and plunges into the top right pocket. I’ve scattered the rest of the balls.”

5) “Don’t you like the butt drawer?”

6) “Argon? It rings a distant bell from chemistry class—an element, I think.”

7) “I sit up and reach for the orange juice, drinking it down too quickly. It’s delicious, ice cold, and it makes my mouth a much better place.”

8) Christian: “Dr. Green is coming to sort you out…”
Ana: “Why?”
Christian: “Because I hate condoms
…” Ana: “It’s my body.”
Christian: “It’s mine, too.”

9) “He’s said such loving things today … But how long will he want to do this without wanting to beat the crap out of me.”
10) “My subconscious looks on with approval, her normally pursed mouth smiling, and I am the supreme puppet master.”