Self Care - for everyone, not just subs.
Here is one thing I know for sure: people are on edge.
I don't mean the usual crunch time, make ends meet kind of stress edge -- but instead like one whack comment from snapping edge.
Is it the political climate?
Maybe.
But, rather than analyze the "why" of it let's make this a positive.
1. Make a point of taking time away from your screens. For every hour, I challenge you to spend 10-15 minutes outside or sitting quietly with your eyes closed (meditation/prayer/relaxing.)
2. Hydrate: I know I for one drink way too much coffee. Coffee is a natural diuretic, so those of us that enjoy our coffee or tea, should double up on our water. You should drink half your weight in ounces.
3. Organize: loosely plan tomorrow. What am I wearing? What is the "loose" to-do's for tomorrow? What will be for dinner tomorrow?
4. Plan ahead: things may not go as planned. Make your bed when you get up. Start the dishwasher or laundry. Do things ahead of time ahead when you have some spare moments.
5. Make one day a week to do exactly what you want to do - not need to do, or should do -- if that means being a couch potato, so be it! If that means staying in bed all day? Good for you! If you want to watch a movie-a-thon or read....go for it. Do what will recharge you and refresh your spirit.
Also, I encourage you to take deep breaths.
We are a society of breath holders, and it isn't good for us.
I don't mean the usual crunch time, make ends meet kind of stress edge -- but instead like one whack comment from snapping edge.
Is it the political climate?
Maybe.
But, rather than analyze the "why" of it let's make this a positive.
1. Make a point of taking time away from your screens. For every hour, I challenge you to spend 10-15 minutes outside or sitting quietly with your eyes closed (meditation/prayer/relaxing.)
2. Hydrate: I know I for one drink way too much coffee. Coffee is a natural diuretic, so those of us that enjoy our coffee or tea, should double up on our water. You should drink half your weight in ounces.
3. Organize: loosely plan tomorrow. What am I wearing? What is the "loose" to-do's for tomorrow? What will be for dinner tomorrow?
4. Plan ahead: things may not go as planned. Make your bed when you get up. Start the dishwasher or laundry. Do things ahead of time ahead when you have some spare moments.
5. Make one day a week to do exactly what you want to do - not need to do, or should do -- if that means being a couch potato, so be it! If that means staying in bed all day? Good for you! If you want to watch a movie-a-thon or read....go for it. Do what will recharge you and refresh your spirit.
Also, I encourage you to take deep breaths.
We are a society of breath holders, and it isn't good for us.
The Elfin Files -- A night in the life of a Domme
For starters, I'm not here to out anyone. As a Dominatrix with a couple of decades under my leather, some nights...we're called to step up.
I had two different individuals contact me. One, I could tell he was having a hard time, but then he vocalized it "I'm struggling." It was a short
call on Niteflirt, and a message that let me know he wasn't doing as well as he could. I tasked him with an assignment, a maintenance spanking
with a full report back to me when complete. This seemed to soothe the sub-fever...no pics as his report was in a video...but long story short...
he's going through changes in his life, new found freedom, if you will...and is now alone at holiday season time...so if nothing else I occupied
his mind and time for a bit...
The second one made an attempt to reach out to me on social media, alebeit an awkward one...but, little did "she" know I had a plan...
*******************************
First: an elf plug.
Next: the superhero elfin outfit
Finally: a "male human disguise" over her elfin self...this time of year humans would just bug our elfin friends anyhow...
The second one made an attempt to reach out to me on social media, alebeit an awkward one...but, little did "she" know I had a plan...
*******************************
First: an elf plug.
Next: the superhero elfin outfit
Finally: a "male human disguise" over her elfin self...this time of year humans would just bug our elfin friends anyhow...
Bratting - why it isn't always cute
I am going to step out on a thin branch right here and say something point blank: Bratting isn't cute, and I am beginning to associate it with time wasters. Bratting can easily cross the line from being "fun" to "poke at the Domme" to where the sub is just badly behaved. There is nothing worse than someone who wastes my time! These will be people that send little hellos here and there, or promise that they will be in contact soon only to bonk off again...Ones that say....oh I'll call later tonight and try to get me to chat a scene (which is possible) but it requires INTERACTION....and of course...there's always the freebie seekers...but I digress..
The worst ones, however, are the ones that W/we are forming a BDSM relationship -- something doesn't align with their petty selfish ways and they either "ghost" altogether or try to regain some margin of control with their behavior...this can be trying to buy their way out (many gifts, hefty tributes and gift cards) or by trying to put on a good behavior "show" (leaving feedback everywhere, re-tweeting everything, etc) While I'm not one to turn down either...they don't make up for poor behavior.
As a sub, you are not in control of the scene, the situation or the relationship.
Read that again.
Your hard limits will be respected. Your lines will be pushed and I'll take you for the ride of your life;
BUT
"Bratting" to get my attention
"Bratting" because things aren't developing as YOU want them
"Bratting" to delay/change something
is atrocious.
It wastes MY time and yours.
Also....when I've given people multiple chances, and even pulled them back into the fold a few times and they continue to play games...I let them go. I deal with a few subs, as you can imagine, I simply cannot afford (timewise) one that is attempting to garnish all of my time with their poor behavior
Here is a good article for you sassy-fucks out there:
http://dominantguide.com/1525/the-brat-ownership-guide/
It does clarify the line of bratting vs being a badly behaved sub.
As a sub, you are not in control of the scene, the situation or the relationship.
Read that again.
Your hard limits will be respected. Your lines will be pushed and I'll take you for the ride of your life;
BUT
"Bratting" to get my attention
"Bratting" because things aren't developing as YOU want them
"Bratting" to delay/change something
is atrocious.
It wastes MY time and yours.
Also....when I've given people multiple chances, and even pulled them back into the fold a few times and they continue to play games...I let them go. I deal with a few subs, as you can imagine, I simply cannot afford (timewise) one that is attempting to garnish all of my time with their poor behavior
Here is a good article for you sassy-fucks out there:
http://dominantguide.com/1525/the-brat-ownership-guide/
It does clarify the line of bratting vs being a badly behaved sub.
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