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Working towards a no touch orgasm
How to:
Relax and get comfortable. This is pretty self-explanatory; whatever works for you works for you. I usually sit down (so I don't fall asleep) late at night on my bed, wrapped up in blankets, with headphones on when I feel like listening to something relaxing. I very much recommend making sure to stay warm. If you feel more comfortable being naked, by all means be naked. I personally feel more relaxed fully dressed.
Breathe naturally. You don't need to take in deep breaths, just natural breaths. If you find your heart beating faster and your breathing rate increasing, that's a good thing – it means you're getting aroused. Just keep everything relaxed and don't rush it.
Move slowly. I cannot stress this enough. I usually spend between 20 and 120 minutes before I start having the actual orgasm. Take in every taste, touch, and odor. Imagine the warmth and moisture of her lips, of her vagina...take in everything.
Don't let your mind wander. I suck at staying focused on one task. If you start to notice your mind wandering, do something physical to bring your mind back to the sexual. Rub a nipple, move your hand down your chest, thigh, whatever it takes. (Just keep in mind this is a no-touch orgasm, at least with regard to your genitals.)
Emotional response. This is the thing that kept me from finally achieving it for months – although now that I know it, it seems so obvious. Men don't really need to put any emotional value into sex to have an orgasm, but having a no-touch orgasm is a completely different ballgame. Don't just imagine yourself banging any hot chick; instead, choose someone that you simply adore. Even if they're not exactly the most attractive person you've met, you'll find that imagining a "first time" with this specific person, if you hadn't already, is much more orgasm-inducing than fantasizing about some random porn star.
Last words of advice. Keep it clean. Find out for yourself how to separate the orgasm from ejaculation; this way, you'll realize you don't exactly need to ejaculate to achieve this, though I still have a few times. Try something a little different every time. Try doing it your own way, too. Fantasies of teachers with big breasts are nice, yet without even realizing it, many like to really go all out with fantasies, making it more visual than full-body and harder to have the no-touch orgasm. Just remember, if you decide to choose such a fantasy, it takes much more concentration. Also, don't force any thoughts in or out of your head. I was once a kid, too, and I know random guy's asses will pop in and out here and there – and even though you might think that's gross, just keep your mind on track and don't freak out. Have fun and best of luck with the No-Touch!
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1623779512 (check it out)
Relax and get comfortable. This is pretty self-explanatory; whatever works for you works for you. I usually sit down (so I don't fall asleep) late at night on my bed, wrapped up in blankets, with headphones on when I feel like listening to something relaxing. I very much recommend making sure to stay warm. If you feel more comfortable being naked, by all means be naked. I personally feel more relaxed fully dressed.
Breathe naturally. You don't need to take in deep breaths, just natural breaths. If you find your heart beating faster and your breathing rate increasing, that's a good thing – it means you're getting aroused. Just keep everything relaxed and don't rush it.
Move slowly. I cannot stress this enough. I usually spend between 20 and 120 minutes before I start having the actual orgasm. Take in every taste, touch, and odor. Imagine the warmth and moisture of her lips, of her vagina...take in everything.
Don't let your mind wander. I suck at staying focused on one task. If you start to notice your mind wandering, do something physical to bring your mind back to the sexual. Rub a nipple, move your hand down your chest, thigh, whatever it takes. (Just keep in mind this is a no-touch orgasm, at least with regard to your genitals.)
Emotional response. This is the thing that kept me from finally achieving it for months – although now that I know it, it seems so obvious. Men don't really need to put any emotional value into sex to have an orgasm, but having a no-touch orgasm is a completely different ballgame. Don't just imagine yourself banging any hot chick; instead, choose someone that you simply adore. Even if they're not exactly the most attractive person you've met, you'll find that imagining a "first time" with this specific person, if you hadn't already, is much more orgasm-inducing than fantasizing about some random porn star.
Last words of advice. Keep it clean. Find out for yourself how to separate the orgasm from ejaculation; this way, you'll realize you don't exactly need to ejaculate to achieve this, though I still have a few times. Try something a little different every time. Try doing it your own way, too. Fantasies of teachers with big breasts are nice, yet without even realizing it, many like to really go all out with fantasies, making it more visual than full-body and harder to have the no-touch orgasm. Just remember, if you decide to choose such a fantasy, it takes much more concentration. Also, don't force any thoughts in or out of your head. I was once a kid, too, and I know random guy's asses will pop in and out here and there – and even though you might think that's gross, just keep your mind on track and don't freak out. Have fun and best of luck with the No-Touch!
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1623779512 (check it out)
Edging to a new level...
Edging refers to getting to the EDGE of cumming, a stroke or several away, and then staying there for a while. It goes by many names:
EDGING = staying on the EDGE of cuming (very different from "edge play" which also plays with breath to enhance arousal, but which literally rides the edge of asphyxiation to achieve this; not something I want to do or have done to me!)
PEAKING = staying at the peak of arousal;
BRINKING = staying on the BRINK of cumming;
TEETERING = teetering on the edge of cumming w/o falling (thanks in Melbourne);
PLATEAUING = cruising on the Western Prairie of BLISS;
VERGING = surfing on the edge of the Wave of BLISS;
ENDORPHING = ever so gently stroking your Erotic Handle to increase the flow of ENDORPHINS in your brain;
PROLONGED AROUSAL = staying AROUSED for a very long time;
MASTURBATION = doing ALL the above )
The key is
Be Mindful.
Pay attention to what you feel - Savor your feelings in ALL parts of your body. Don't focus only on your cock, but be aware of tingles in your feet, your back, your mind, and especially your perineum and prostate. Help your mind be aware of these by touching yourself in these places.
Most guys find that porn flicks or friction fiction is useful, if at all, only at the start of a session. After you get GOOD VIBRATIONS going all the way from your cockhead to your prostate, focus on these, savor them cultivate them. If you have other ideas, or porn thoughts, or even work ideas come into your head, just let them float across the screen of your consciousness, the surface of your meditative mind, and stay centered on your breathing, your body.
Consume the deliciousness of the tingles in your perineum, in your cock, as you pull your balls, twist your nipples. If something heightens your pleasure, just let it happen and focus on the deliciousness, letting thought of how it happened pass.
So try this...and let me know how it works!!
EDGING = staying on the EDGE of cuming (very different from "edge play" which also plays with breath to enhance arousal, but which literally rides the edge of asphyxiation to achieve this; not something I want to do or have done to me!)
PEAKING = staying at the peak of arousal;
BRINKING = staying on the BRINK of cumming;
TEETERING = teetering on the edge of cumming w/o falling (thanks in Melbourne);
PLATEAUING = cruising on the Western Prairie of BLISS;
VERGING = surfing on the edge of the Wave of BLISS;
ENDORPHING = ever so gently stroking your Erotic Handle to increase the flow of ENDORPHINS in your brain;
PROLONGED AROUSAL = staying AROUSED for a very long time;
MASTURBATION = doing ALL the above )
The key is
Be Mindful.
Pay attention to what you feel - Savor your feelings in ALL parts of your body. Don't focus only on your cock, but be aware of tingles in your feet, your back, your mind, and especially your perineum and prostate. Help your mind be aware of these by touching yourself in these places.
Most guys find that porn flicks or friction fiction is useful, if at all, only at the start of a session. After you get GOOD VIBRATIONS going all the way from your cockhead to your prostate, focus on these, savor them cultivate them. If you have other ideas, or porn thoughts, or even work ideas come into your head, just let them float across the screen of your consciousness, the surface of your meditative mind, and stay centered on your breathing, your body.
Consume the deliciousness of the tingles in your perineum, in your cock, as you pull your balls, twist your nipples. If something heightens your pleasure, just let it happen and focus on the deliciousness, letting thought of how it happened pass.
So try this...and let me know how it works!!
Denial.
Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.<br><br>
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualized objectification and erotic loss of control.<br><br>
Orgasm denial as a way of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The top will often deny the submissive (BDSM) sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant's own desires to erotically humiliate.<br><br>
Short-term denial practices
Tease and denial
Tease and denial describes a situation where a person's genitals are stimulated until he/she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm,” as opposed to being a “denied orgasm,” (sometimes known as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
making love out of nothing at all -- Bonnie style
"Making Love (Out Of Nothing At All)"
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try
And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules and then I know how break them
And I always know the name of the game
But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky
Is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I gotta follow it
Cause everything I own, now
It's nothing till I give it to you
I can make you find your power
I can make you lose your fear
I can make your body do some very magical things
I'll make your inhibitions all disappear
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone
But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all
(Making love) Out of nothing at all
(Making love) Out of nothing at all
(Making love)
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
And know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try
And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules and then I know how break them
And I always know the name of the game
But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all (Making love)
Out of nothing at all
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky
Is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I gotta follow it
Cause everything I own, now
It's nothing till I give it to you
I can make you find your power
I can make you lose your fear
I can make your body do some very magical things
I'll make your inhibitions all disappear
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made
And I can make all your demons be gone
But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all
(Making love) Out of nothing at all
(Making love) Out of nothing at all
(Making love)
the importance of aftercare.
All scenes, no matter what their focus is, should include some kind of aftercare component. In its most basic form, aftercare can be thought of as the willingness to support your partner after a play session to ensure return to an everyday state of mental and emotional equilibrium (Dexter, 2012). This time is used to provide comfort and support to both players. It signals to both parties that they are valued and appreciated (A Submissive's Journey, 2013) and is one of the distinctions between engaging in BDSM and abuse (Peyton, 2013).
BDSM scenes, no matter where they range from pain causing elements to mental power exchanges, can change a person's headspace and include a certain high caused by endorphins flooding the blood stream (Fox, 2012). These endorphins are joined by other neurotransmitters such as dopamine. As endorphins inhibit the pain receptors, the brain floods with dopamine which activates the reward center and fills you with euphoria. When the dopamine levels subside in the brain, a neurochemical called prolactin is released. Research has shown that prolactin is a stress hormone that keeps the dopamine levels in your brain in check; this neurochemical has been linked to feelings of depression and alienation (SirReal, 2007). It is easily understandable why coming from this high can cause some players to feel emotional and in need of some type of support, physical or otherwise (BedroomBondage, 2013). Engaging in aftercare can strongly increase the intimacy between two players and while often geared towards the bottom, it benefits the top as well (Peyton , 2013).
Regrettably when people first get into kink, and sometimes even with experienced players, aftercare is not something that is discussed or done. You may also be without a reliable play partner or perhaps playing with someone at a public event and this aspect is overlooked. Aftercare may also be overlooked if playing with an online partner (Abode, 2013). In case of emergencies, it is good to have your own aftercare kit (lunaKM, 2009).
If you need to do your own aftercare be sure to take care of your immediate physical concerns and treat any injuries. You may wish to clean up a bit, use the bathroom, change into more comfortable clothes. Once this is taken care of, be sure to have a bite to eat and some water. Foods chosen should help give you a boost and rebalance your hormones; good choices could include: chocolate, fruit juice, energy bars, fresh or dried fruit, nuts, herbal tea or hot chocolate (Abode, 2013).
After this initial phase, ensure that you have a safe way home, presuming you are not home already. If you are unsure if you are driving after half an hour, check your pupils in the mirror to see if they are highly dilated. If you are still feeling out of it, consider calling a friend or a taxi to get home. When you get home ensure to stay hydrated and stay warm. You can try some yoga or stretching. If you are feeling social, meet up with some friends (Abode, 2013).
It can be helpful to take a good dose of vitamins after play to help promote healing and reduce any lingering negative emotions (Abode, 2013). This can be a helpful alternative to having someone to cuddle with, it will not be the same but it can help.
Why Have an Aftercare Kit?
Aftercare is an important part of seeing to the physical, mental, and emotional health of you and your play partner. When you are packing up your kink toys, it is easy to have an aftercare kit ready to go. This is a great idea because it ensures you will have what you are likely to need no matter where you are. It also shows your partner that you are thinking ahead and ensuring safe play.
What Should Be In Your Aftercare Kit?
You should tailor this pack to the type of play you are engaging in or your play partner as different items may be needed. There are some items that you may wish to consistently keep in your kit as they will always be applicable such as a blanket or first aid kit. Some suggestions of things that you might wish to consider placing in your pack:
Small snack - It is common for people to get hungry after the release of endorphins. Someone's blood sugar may drop during play as well so it is always a good idea to have something for you or your partner to munch on afterward. It can also help return someone to a everyday world state of mind by grounding them.
Water/sports drink bottle - You or your partner may get dehydrated during the play session. Staying hydrated is an important part of being safe during a play scene.
Ice/Heat pack - Ice packs can be used to cool down and reduce bruising by applying them to the impact area. You may also want a heat pack for any potential injuries
First Aid supplies - Always a good idea to have a first aid kit on hand
Blanket/bathrobe - It can be common for people to feel cold after the endorphins of the play session ebb.
Change of warm, comfortable clothes - After an intense play session, you or your partner may wish to relax in something warm and comfortable. It can also be more comfortable to cuddle.
Warm socks - To ensure you or your partner remains warm enough
Sterilization/wet wipes - Depending on type of play you do, these can be great for quick clean up.
Incense/scented candles - A calming and soothing scent can add to creating a relaxing aftercare environment
Journal - You or your partner may wish to record feelings or thoughts of what went well or things that can be improved.
Stuffed animal - If you or your partner wants one for comfort
Vitamin E/K cream or Arnica gel - These creams can be used to reduce existing bruises after impact play
Tube of heparinoid - Found in first aid sections and has several brand names. Used to increase blood flow and reduce bruising and inflammation from occurring
Customize Your Kit
What you choose to include in your aftercare kit should be dependent on the type of play that you and your partner typically engage in as well as the aftercare needs of your partner. There is more than one way to carry out aftercare and you should discuss what will make you and your partner the most comfortable.
BDSM scenes, no matter where they range from pain causing elements to mental power exchanges, can change a person's headspace and include a certain high caused by endorphins flooding the blood stream (Fox, 2012). These endorphins are joined by other neurotransmitters such as dopamine. As endorphins inhibit the pain receptors, the brain floods with dopamine which activates the reward center and fills you with euphoria. When the dopamine levels subside in the brain, a neurochemical called prolactin is released. Research has shown that prolactin is a stress hormone that keeps the dopamine levels in your brain in check; this neurochemical has been linked to feelings of depression and alienation (SirReal, 2007). It is easily understandable why coming from this high can cause some players to feel emotional and in need of some type of support, physical or otherwise (BedroomBondage, 2013). Engaging in aftercare can strongly increase the intimacy between two players and while often geared towards the bottom, it benefits the top as well (Peyton , 2013).
Regrettably when people first get into kink, and sometimes even with experienced players, aftercare is not something that is discussed or done. You may also be without a reliable play partner or perhaps playing with someone at a public event and this aspect is overlooked. Aftercare may also be overlooked if playing with an online partner (Abode, 2013). In case of emergencies, it is good to have your own aftercare kit (lunaKM, 2009).
If you need to do your own aftercare be sure to take care of your immediate physical concerns and treat any injuries. You may wish to clean up a bit, use the bathroom, change into more comfortable clothes. Once this is taken care of, be sure to have a bite to eat and some water. Foods chosen should help give you a boost and rebalance your hormones; good choices could include: chocolate, fruit juice, energy bars, fresh or dried fruit, nuts, herbal tea or hot chocolate (Abode, 2013).
After this initial phase, ensure that you have a safe way home, presuming you are not home already. If you are unsure if you are driving after half an hour, check your pupils in the mirror to see if they are highly dilated. If you are still feeling out of it, consider calling a friend or a taxi to get home. When you get home ensure to stay hydrated and stay warm. You can try some yoga or stretching. If you are feeling social, meet up with some friends (Abode, 2013).
It can be helpful to take a good dose of vitamins after play to help promote healing and reduce any lingering negative emotions (Abode, 2013). This can be a helpful alternative to having someone to cuddle with, it will not be the same but it can help.
Why Have an Aftercare Kit?
Aftercare is an important part of seeing to the physical, mental, and emotional health of you and your play partner. When you are packing up your kink toys, it is easy to have an aftercare kit ready to go. This is a great idea because it ensures you will have what you are likely to need no matter where you are. It also shows your partner that you are thinking ahead and ensuring safe play.
What Should Be In Your Aftercare Kit?
You should tailor this pack to the type of play you are engaging in or your play partner as different items may be needed. There are some items that you may wish to consistently keep in your kit as they will always be applicable such as a blanket or first aid kit. Some suggestions of things that you might wish to consider placing in your pack:
Small snack - It is common for people to get hungry after the release of endorphins. Someone's blood sugar may drop during play as well so it is always a good idea to have something for you or your partner to munch on afterward. It can also help return someone to a everyday world state of mind by grounding them.
Water/sports drink bottle - You or your partner may get dehydrated during the play session. Staying hydrated is an important part of being safe during a play scene.
Ice/Heat pack - Ice packs can be used to cool down and reduce bruising by applying them to the impact area. You may also want a heat pack for any potential injuries
First Aid supplies - Always a good idea to have a first aid kit on hand
Blanket/bathrobe - It can be common for people to feel cold after the endorphins of the play session ebb.
Change of warm, comfortable clothes - After an intense play session, you or your partner may wish to relax in something warm and comfortable. It can also be more comfortable to cuddle.
Warm socks - To ensure you or your partner remains warm enough
Sterilization/wet wipes - Depending on type of play you do, these can be great for quick clean up.
Incense/scented candles - A calming and soothing scent can add to creating a relaxing aftercare environment
Journal - You or your partner may wish to record feelings or thoughts of what went well or things that can be improved.
Stuffed animal - If you or your partner wants one for comfort
Vitamin E/K cream or Arnica gel - These creams can be used to reduce existing bruises after impact play
Tube of heparinoid - Found in first aid sections and has several brand names. Used to increase blood flow and reduce bruising and inflammation from occurring
Customize Your Kit
What you choose to include in your aftercare kit should be dependent on the type of play that you and your partner typically engage in as well as the aftercare needs of your partner. There is more than one way to carry out aftercare and you should discuss what will make you and your partner the most comfortable.
It's so nice to be appreciated...
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